MOTHERS: GUARDIANS AND GATEKEEPERS OF A MAN'S FATHERHOOD

A mother is the source of Dad’s most important endorsement in the eyes of his children.  A mother is literally the guardian and the gatekeeper of a man’s reputation in the home.  A good endorsement from mom can make Dad great in the eyes of his children; while a bad endorsement from mom can destroy him.  Good Dad or Bad Dad.  Much depends upon Moms, what they say, and how they act toward Dad.    

This is not to say that Good Dads do not have a responsibility for their actions and attitudes in the home.  Good Dads will be attentive and loving, nurturing and providing.  This is what Good Dads do. But children will relate to their Dads in much the same way that their mothers do.  If mom likes dad then children most likely will.  If mom does not like dad then it is almost certain children will not either.        

Here are four encouragements for mothers that all begin with the letter “A.”  Lavish these upon your child’s father and your children will say, “I have the best Dad in the world!  My mom says so!”  

Affirmation:  Say great things about your child’s dad.  Build his reputation.  Establish your child’s Dad to be the best man in the world.  My mother, Lita Sippy, said great things about my Dad.   One year after my Dad died my mom asked, “Was I a good wife?”  I said, “Mom, you were an incredible wife. You took great care of my Dad.  And that makes you the best mom in the world.”

Affection: Men need affection and lots of it.  Children can see if adults love each other, or if they are acting cold, chilly, and aloof.  Can you imagine a couple who married 50 years who never say I love you or show any affection?  Affectionate parents foster affectionate, healthy children.  Make your children blush with your affection and they will be blessed.

Attention:  Attention is the number one expression of love, honor, and respect.  If you care about someone you spend time with him.  Children will know you love their father by the attention you give him.  It doesn’t matter what you’re doing.  I like to say, “It doesn’t matter if you like basketball or the ballet.  You like the person you are with!

Absolution:  Be forgiving.  Guys make mistakes.  They are not as romantic and cool as they could be.  They don’t always clean up the way they ought.  But when you accept your children’s father as he is, and forgive him when he fails, your children will, too.  

Raising children is not easy.  It is not easy raising Dads, either!  But when you raise up your children’s father to be a hero you will be raising up your children to be confident, hopeful, and secure.  Mothers are the guardians and gatekeepers of a father’s reputation in the home.  A mother’s great endorsement of a Dad makes him a hero in his children’s eyes.  ​

About Author

JEFF SIPPY

Jeff Sippy, a Dad-In-Training, is the father of three young men and the husband of Cindy. He enjoys sailing every chance that he gets. He is the senior pastor at Redeemer Lutheran in Springfield, MO and can be reached for question or comment at jsippy@rlcmail.org