Wondering why you need a special day reserved to show your wife you care? Is Valentine’s Day just a commercialized racket that pressures people into needless spending? Or maybe you want to get her something great, but you don’t know where to start. Maybe you’re thinking you’re both busy, and she’ll understand if you just skip it this year?
These are all valid thoughts and concerns, but the truth is, your wife appreciates when you show you’re thinking about her any time of year, and Valentine’s Day is a great day to celebrate your love for her. It doesn’t have to be expensive or showy. Often the best gifts are just the opposite.
To get in the right frame of mind, take a moment and think about what you already know about your leading lady.
Knowing her Love Language is helpful, but if you’re under a time crunch, keep it simple. How does she recharge? Does she seem to be in need of time to herself or time together? This might depend on if you have young kids (she may need some alone time!) or if your kids are a bit older (she may be craving time together to connect as a family). Perhaps she’d enjoy a morning to do her own thing, a date night out with you, or maybe she’d like to hit an indoor water park with the whole family. Does she love coffee, shopping, or massages, or is a handwritten note and breakfast in bed more her style?
We checked in with women coast-to-coast, and rounded up a few ideas to get you started:
“I’d love a morning to myself, getting coffee and my nails done.” – AM, Columbia, South Carolina
Bonus points if you give her gift cards to her favorite coffee place and nail salon so she’ll actually go do this. Otherwise women (especially moms!) can feel guilty spending the money on themselves, but giving her the gift cards shows you want it to feel like a treat that you’ve already set into motion.
“I usually ask my husband for household décor or updates that I wouldn’t normally request. For example, a few years ago I asked him to change out every single outlet and light switch to white ones. It took forever, but it’s something I enjoy literally EVERY single day! Another year I wanted our bedroom painted and new blinds. I enjoy these things so much. Though, I also like jewelry… I mean, who doesn’t?!” – JF, Chesterfield, Missouri
Has your wife mentioned any projects she’d love to have done around the house? Could you surprise her by carving out time to check an item off the to-do list or hire someone to get it done?
“Grocery store flowers are always sweet, and much less expensive than ordering from a florist this time of year. It shows he was thinking about me!” – BB, Jacksonville, Florida
If your wife loves gardening or being outdoors odds are good that she’d enjoy receiving some fresh flowers – especially if they don’t cost a ton. A simple bouquet paired with a favorite bottle of wine and cheese and crackers makes for an easy, impromptu pre-dinner date any day of the week.
“Every time we have a special occasion (anniversary, birthday, Christmas) I ask my husband to buy me a blowout package at my salon. My hair not only looks great, but I can make it a whole week without washing my hair if they do a double wash. It is seriously a godsend, especially with a young baby. Priceless.” – AD, Hermosa Beach, California
Does your wife love getting her hair done? Do you know what salon she goes to, or could you check her calendar for clues and surprise her with a gift card?
“What I want most is for my husband to make a great dinner for us to enjoy together. It’s nice that he will plan meals, grocery shop, and loves to cook. I can relax because I know he has it all taken care of, and he’s great at it!” – SS, Denver, Colorado
Has your wife been hinting she’d like a night out together, but maybe it’s too expensive or you can’t seem to pin down childcare? Try putting the baby to bed early one night or asking a friend to watch the kids and then surprise her with a special dinner for two at home complete with her favorite recipe and a candle on the table.
“My husband and I each have Amazon Lists that we add to throughout the year. It's so easy because you just add things to your Wish List as you see them so she knows what you like, and your wife does the same on her own list. Then when it’s time to look for a gift you’ve got a curated list of exact items she’s guaranteed to love!” – SG, Springfield, Missouri
Are you’re looking for something quick and easy (read: perhaps last minute? Life happens!) for this Valentine’s Day? Try a subscription to Amazon Prime or an Amazon gift card. It’s the perfect gift for a busy mom. She can get some shopping done while feeding the baby or sitting at basketball practice.
So what does your wife really want for Valentine's Day? As a good dad you know that no matter how you choose to celebrate this love-filled holiday, supporting your partner is what's important. When you show appreciation and love to your wife, you are not only filling her love tank, but you’re also modeling healthy relationships for your children, and it's safe to say that's a #winwin in any woman's book.
For more great insights and tips be sure to subscribe to our Good Dads Podcast, and check out this Keeping the Romance Alive podcast (Part I, Part II, and Part III) where three dads join us in the studio to talk about the importance of making time for your spouse... physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
In closing, if you click through and order a subscription to Amazon Prime Good Dads will earn from qualifying purchases and that helps us keep the lights on. Thanks for your support - today and always!
Stephanie Grandestaff is a wife and mother, and enjoys handling all aspects of marketing and media for Good Dads.
You’re on the website and reading this article because you want to be a good dad. Congratulations for making this a priority in your life. Our society needs more guys like you who aren’t satisfied with their current dad skills, but instead want to step up their dad game.
You could probably write a list of the things you do, day in and day out, that make you a good dad, but one skill that you might overlook (and it’s super common) is your marriage. Think about it, if you want to really take your skills to the next level, why not show your kids what being a good husband looks like? I’m not playing Monday morning quarter back. I have three young kids of my own and somedays—more than I’d like to admit—working on my husband game is not on my “to-do” list. But leaning into your marriage is one of the most powerful things you can do for your children. Here’s why. Believe it or not, you’re the lens through which your daughter is going to see her future husband. And you will play a big role in what kind of husband and father your son will grow up to be someday. The stakes are high and each day is an opportunity to speak into whom your children will grow up to be.
Below are three things that you can start doing today that will help you step up your dad game (and your wife won’t mind either)!
You’ve just read three ways you can keep that spark alive in your marriage, even with young children. Maybe you’ll start by taking one of the tips above and trying it out this week, or maybe you are really ambitious and you’ve already planned out how you’re going to start doing it tonight. Remember being a good dad is hard work, but stay committed to your marriage because it changes lives.
Want more insights into keeping the spark alive? Check out this three part Good Dads Podcast with three dads talking about just that topic ➡️ Part I, Part II, and Part III.
Jim Bartok is the pastor at My Church in Ozark, Missouri. He is a follower of Jesus, husband, father of three and a church planter. He loves spending time with his family, being outdoors and helping people encounter Jesus. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.